014: Jackie C.: Moving From Co-parenting To Sperm Donor and Post-Partum Depression

My guest today is Jackie, a single-mom-by-choice who wanted to have a co-parenting agreement at the beginning of her journey. The plans for co-parenting fell through and Jackie conceived her child with a sperm donor.

Jackie talks about how she approached the co-parenting arrangement and why it didn’t work out. She also discusses her difficult pregnancy and recovery. Jackie dealt with postpartum depression after her delivery. She shares what it was like to cope with those startling feelings and how she reached out for help.

We also talk about how to build a support system and why it is good to start early to build your village. Jackie authors a blog called Oakland Choice Mom and hopes to encourage women to consider the single-mother-by-choice option.

Some highlights of today’s conversation:

• Jackie’s early ideas of motherhood and family.
• Why she wanted to pursue the single-mother-by-choice option.
• Jackie’s attempts to arrange a co-parenting relationship and why it didn’t happen.
• How she approached the co-parenting agreement with her friend.
• How Jackie underestimated the difficulty of the donor process.
• How she chose her sperm donor.
• The importance of not having expectations with your donor experience.
• How Jackie coped with postpartum depression and found the resources to help.
• Jackie’s support system and how she built it.
• The Oakland Choice Mom blog.

Resources

Oakland Choice Mom Blog

Oakland Choice Mom Facebook

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Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski

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Quotes

"Build your village early. Whether it is your girlfriends, a single moms club, your family, friends, build it early and strengthen and extend your village early and you will fall and lean back in different ways at different times and you will be in a position to give back to your village and help as a token of appreciation." -- Jackie

"This was my lifelong dream to be a mom and here I had this amazing, beautiful, healthy newborn in my hands, and all I wanted to do was sleep and never wake-up or I had thoughts of hurting her, hurting myself, making this all go away and not have to deal with it. The doctor explained once you have those thoughts that's when you really need  some intervention." -- Jackie

(Re: co-parenting) "I'm almost kind of happy that it didn't work out. Because the dynamic of the relationship would be so different, although I do have my own set of challenges as a single mom, but I don't have to deal with arguments and fights and heartache if we don't agree on something." -- Jackie