008: Shocked by the Capacity to Love

At the age of 38, Elena had her eggs frozen, by her early 40s, she was using those eggs and a sperm donor to conceive a child. She is now the proud mother of a healthy 3-year-old girl.

Like most women, Elena had her own ideas of how motherhood was going to be but life went another direction. We discuss how Elena was able to move past her expectations of motherhood. She recommends the benefits of therapy and finding people you can trust to listen and help you sort through the complex emotions that come with this alternative path to motherhood.

Elena shares what motherhood has been like for her and what she would tell other women considering the single-motherhood-by-choice path. The joy she feels when she discusses her daughter is really infectious. She truly enjoys the single-mother-by-choice path and is a heart-warming reminder that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to build a family.

Some highlights of today’s conversation:

• Elena’s early ideas of motherhood.
• The decision to freeze her eggs and the realization she would need them.
• How therapy helped her let go of her expectations of motherhood.
• Why you should look for sperm donors that share similar traits to you.
• The importance of knowing the medical history of a sperm donor.
• Why Elena is taking the honest approach with her daughter regarding her conception.
• The overwhelming depth of love Elena feels for her daughter.
• How being an older and single mother creates appreciation.
• Why Elena feels she is more comfortable with motherhood.
• The unexpected exhaustion that comes with motherhood.
• Elena’s advice to other single-mothers-by-choice.
• How to find a support group and ask for the help you need.
• How Motherhood Reimagined is helping the alternative motherhood community.

Resources

Motherhood Reimagined Website

Motherhood Reimagined SMC Community

Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming a Mother Doesn’t Go As Planned: A Memoir by Sarah Kowalski

Thank you for joining us for Motherhood Reimagined. You can contact us through the website or Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. 

Also, if you are wanting some guidance on this unconventional path, consider joining my Motherhood Reimagined SMC Community.

Inside my community, you get regular live guest expert interviews, community meetups, Ask Me Anything Calls, all my courses and of course connection to other single women at different stages of their SMC journey. 

If you want a more private interaction with me, then consider indvidual coaching. You get up to 2 calls per month with me, voicemail and text access as well as access to all my content and done for your research.

Quotes:

"Try not to compare yourself as a mom to any other moms or your children to any other children or your family to another family." -- Elena

"I'm surprised at how smooth our becoming a family has been, how happy she is, how comfortable she feels, when the baby is there, most of your fears I think go away." -- Elena

"At this point, I just feel grateful. I feel really grateful so there's this sense of calm and sort of enjoyment and joy that comes from having my daughter." -- Elena